Speculation

Sometimes I wonder if they know
Know that behind this false exterior,
That thin eggshell-like protection of mine
Not even worth your time cracking,
There is a girl fighting
Struggling against herself
A girl wanting to live
Die
It’s all the same

Sometimes I wonder if they see
See the tears I am so desperate to hide
Ones I must lie about.
No option.
No other way.
I don’t want the questions

Sometimes I wonder if they can hear
Hear the screams locked up in my head
Forever echoing
Ringing in my ears
Hear them
Listen
Listen
LISTEN!
So you hear them?
No you don’t.
Of course not.

Sometimes I wonder if they know
It
She
Her
Me
This girl
She is me

They will only see what they will
But I want to know
Am I,
This girl,
Am I worth fighting for?

-Dominica Bolden